One of our greatest fears is a fear of dying, and of death itself. We are genetically programmed for survival and our fears keep us out of danger - hence the physiological 'fight or flight' response that turns to anger and aggression or crippling anxiety. We know throughout our lives that death is as inevitable as our birth, but we avoid thinking about it and talking about it. Then, when we are given a terminal diagnosis, we are confronted with our mortality, and the effect can be devastating.
We have a choice - to avoid thinking about what is to come, even though our fears keep nagging at us, or to confront it, analyse it and discover its place and meaning in our lives. Harrowing though it may seem, the terminal diagnosis presents us with an opportunity that many people do not get - to contemplate what our lives are all about and to prepare for a 'good death'.
"Death is a part of all our lives. Whether we like it or not, it is bound to happen. Instead of avoiding thinking about it, it is better to understand its meaning." - The Dalai Lama
Once we can accept that physical death is an inevitable transition, like our birth, we can be released from fear and its limitations and can begin to truly Be Alive.
Many people who have 'died' and then been resuscitated and brought back to life report similar joyful experiences:
What, then, is there to fear about death? Research has shown that people who have had NDEs (Near Death Experiences) go on to live life very differently in the light of that experience - to 'live in the light of death'. When our life is under threat, we have the opportunity to live as if we have already had an NDE - without the flatlines!
One very dear friend from Penny Brohn Cancer Care was given three months to live - she has just celebrated the five-year anniversary since she was given her terminal diagnosis! We hear this all the time - people who have confounded their doctors by living way beyond their original predictions. So it is important to seize the opportunities afforded by a terminal diagnosis and do all we can to enjoy a positive and fulfilling life.
Says Khalil Gibran in The Prophet:
“You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?....
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one….
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?....
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink form the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
At Aspire2Change, our philosophy is to help you to prepare for whatever is to come - emotionally, spiritually, physically and practically - a holistic approach that enables you to take back control and to find peace in the knowledge that you have have done all you can to 'die well'.
Our aim is to help you to prepare for a 'good death', whenever that may be, so that you can get on with the fantastic business of Being Alive. We do some of this work ourselves and some of it is carried out by our Associates, by your medical team and by a spiritual or religious leader, if you wish to have one. The choice is yours - you are in the driving seat in this wonderful journey of discovery, getting ready for take-off into the next great adventure.
Please also see our sister site www.dyingtolive.co.uk for a great deal more information.
Aspire2Change – achieve your aspirations, change your life.
There is no set charge for this service - the fees are negotiable according to your pocket.